Imprinting Irony
by spoonscausepayne
Summary: Jacob imprint as Bella's wedding reception, but you'll never guess who with! This is really crazy. Also, someone one becomes a vampire..p.s.-its not Bella!
1. Chapter 1

**K..i do not own Twilight or any of it's characters.**

**Um..this is only my second fan fiction EVER, so please judge me honestly. I really want your opinion down to the last detail.**

**I know I just made a story about Jacob imprinting also, but this is really crazy too! And I may warn you, it's a little far fetched, but its just a joke.**

**So far, there are 2 chapters, so read both!**

**Also, please, post a review..even if its just a sentence i would really appreciate it.**

**So yeah..here it is..Enjoy!**

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"Thank you so much! We really appreciate you coming," I said, for what felt like the 100th time. I knew there were going to be people that I was going to have to talk to, after all it was my wedding day, but I just never knew how many people would actually show up.

"Congrats!" Jacob said, making me lose my train of thought.

"Thanks," I said, embracing him in a bear hug, or I guess a wolf hug would be more appropriate. "I'm so glad you came."

"Yes, it was very nice of you to come, Jacob." Edward said, trying to sound like a gentleman in front of all the guests.

"Yeah," Jacob said, suddenly losing the enthusiasm he had just a second ago.

Suddenly, Edward burst out laughing and I knew what had happened. Edward had read Jacob's mind as he often did and found something obviously hilarious. Considering, he disliked Jacob so much, I decided it probably wasn't funny at all.

"Is someone gonna tell me what's so funny?" I asked. I always hated they had private moments and didn't even want them.

Jacob's face turned bright red. He turned and ran towards the bathroom. I tried to run after him, but Edward grabbed my arm. I knew there was no way to fight his steel grip so I turned to face him.

"Well," I said, trying to put as much force in my tone as possible.

Edward's cheeks lifted and he tried to conceal a smile. He always found it funny when I tried to sound threatening.

"Um…Jacob..imprinted, Bella," he said, still trying to suppress laughter.

"That's great!" I said. Why was this so funny, though? I knew there was something else.

"Ugh, what else?" I said, almost positive I wouldn't like the answer.

"He imprinted on someone you know, Bella, very well." Edward said looking me straight in the eye. For one second I thought I would faint. You could almost _see _the love in his beautiful golden eyes.

"Who?" I asked, trying to hide that he had yet again, dazzled me.

"Renee." Jacob said, suddenly standing right next to me.

"You imprinted on my mom? That's very funny, but really who?" I said. That would actually be hilarious. Jacob imprinting on my _mom. _I mean, that would mean I kissed my probably future step-dad.

"Bella, he's serious. I mean he doesn't have any control over it." Edward said, finally serious.

"Oh my gosh," I said, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, Bella, I'm sure." Jacob answered, still looking a little queasy.

This time I couldn't contain myself. I burst out laughing and eventually they all joined in. I mean it was all just so….ironic.

"What's going on here?" my mom asked. She was wearing a blue gown with pink sequins all across the chest. It was probably all Alice's doing, I decided.

Next thing I knew, Jacob pulled my mom to his chest and was embraced on a full on kiss with my mother. I felt my jaw drop to the floor. This had to be a dream. I mean there was no way my best friend and my mom could be making out.

"Mom!" I said, trying to sound shocked.

My mom finally broke from Jacob's lips and whispered what sounded like, "I love you." Except she wasn't looking at me or Phil or anyone else, she was looking directly into Jacob's eyes.

"I love you too," Jacob said, still holding my mom by her waist.

"I can't believe this!" I said, a little too loud. Suddenly, everyone was staring at us. I looked around, only to see Leah making out with Phil. She had imprinted on him. I turned around to find Jacob and my mom kissing again.

"No, no, no," I said, not worrying about my tone now. I ran outside as fast as I could. Edward was right behind me.

Finally, I got to the car. It was a limo, with the words, "Just married" on the back. I climbed into the back and tried to close the door behind me, but of course Edward caught it and slipped in next to me.

"A quick drive around the block, driver," he said handing the man a 100 bill. He then put his arm around me and pulled me to his chest.

"I don't know what I would do without you," I said, pulling myself closer to him.

"Well," he laughed, "at least no evil vampires crashed the wedding."

"Yeah," I said, laughing with him, "at least." Though that might have even been better than what did happen.


	2. Chapter 2

I had been exactly 2 hours. Not from the wedding itself, but from the 'incident'. After everyone had calmed down, including me, everyone was going to meet at the Cullen house to talk everything through rationally.

"Do we have to do this?" I asked, hoping that the answer would be no.

"Yes, Bella," Edward said, "I mean this was a traumatic event for you and you have to realize that this is how things were going to be."

_This is how things are going to be. _ I repeated the words over and over in my head, still not sure if I believed them.

"I know," I lied, "but, I don't think I can face my mother or Jacob for that matter."

"Don't forget Leah and Phil," Emmet said with a smile. Though, I knew he was just trying to lighten up the mood a little, I wished he wouldn't. I mean we had Jasper for that. And as if he read my mind, there was a sudden calmness.

"Jasper, do you have to do that. I mean I'm gonna have to be suffer a little if I ever want to heal." I was surprised by the look on his face. I had never said anything about him calming the mood before (or at least recently) and it surprised him.

"Look, Bella, I'm just following what your husband wants so blame him, not me," he said with a smile.

I instantly looked at him. My _husband._ I mean it really still hadn't sunk in. I was too worried about everything else, but now looking into his eyes, as he gave me that breathtaking crooked smile, I knew that he was finally all mine and that no matter what happened he always would be.

I had to smile and though he couldn't read my mind, he knew exactly what I was thinking, like we were one person.

"Fine," I said, pushing the words through my lips, gasping for air.

"There're here," Edward announced. Everyone stood up from the table and went to the door, seconds later the door bell rang.

Esme opened the door and Jacob, Renee, Leah, and Phil barged through the door, each couple hand in hand. Though I was with Edward, I couldn't help being a bit disgusted.

"So, I'm sure that Leah and Jacob have explained everything to you right?" Carlisle said, finally putting an end to the moments of grueling silence.

"Yes," Phil and Renee both said, right on cue.

"Have they told you everything?" Carlisle said, still a little unsure.

This time Renee answered, "Yes. They are both werewolves and you are all vampires. Right."

"Right," I said, answering for them. I was shocked by mother's tone. She sounded like it was everyday that you fell in love with a werewolf half your age and discovered that your son-in-law and his entire family were immortal vampires. Not to mention enemies of the werewolves.

"Well good then." Edward said, "Though, you must know that we will have to make a few adjustments to the treaty. I mean, for Bella's sake."

"Of course," they all said again in unison.

"Well, if you would all follow me to the dining room, then, we can discuss those adjustments." Carlisle said, with a warm smile.

After everyone was at the table and seated with their significant others, the 'meeting' was set to begin. Edward locked his fingers through mine and I held him tight, knowing this was going to be emotional, even with Jasper there.

"Jacob, will you please show us the treaty," Carlisle said, making direct eye contact with Jake.

"Um..yeah..about that," he said, suddenly his face was pale. "I sort of misplaced it."

"You lost the treaty!!" Everyone shouted at once.

"Well, actually, I set it on fire. Then I went to the beach to try to put it back together, but it got soaked by the waves. Then I started scraping to put it back together but accidentally tore it into shreds and the water washed the remains away."

Everyone started at him, with their jaws on the floor. How could this happen. Without the treaty….well, actually good things would happen. I mean Edward could finally turn me into a vampire without breaking the treaty and starting a war and they could both cross the boundary lines freely!

"That's great!" I shouted. Everyone looked at me with puzzled faces. After I explained to them my big revelation, they all smiled.

Suddenly, my mother fell off her chair and hit her head. She was unconscious.

"She's dying!" Carlisle said.

"Bite her!" I said, trying to keep her alive. At once, Carlisle, bit her and my mother was awake screaming.

That's when I realized what had just happened. My mother was turning into a vampire.


End file.
